Ask a Tim
Ask a Tim
Finally an answer to all your questions about everything. Not only an answer, but an answer from a Tim! E-mail all questions to AskingTim@Gmail.com or by clicking on the link on the left hand menu bar titled "Get your questions answered" and leaving a comment! I will reply (if I can) as soon as possible!
Friday, September 30, 2005
Sheriff John Brown always hated me...
Why did he shoot the sheriff but not the deputy?
Dear Comrades, (wow, sounds like I should follow that up with a manifesto)
I believe you are refering to the song "I Shot the Sheriff", by Bob Marley, and not the cover by Eric Clapton.
Well, as to why he shot the sheriff, that is made clear in the song, the sheriff hated him and promised to crush anything he tried to do. It was obviously something done in self-defense, but he never explains why he didn't shoot the deputy
The deputy was shot by someone, as the protagonist of the song was wrongly accused for it, but the song never clearly states why he didn't do it.
Perhaps, he had no personal beef with the deputy, only with the sheriff. And once John Brown was out of the way, things would be better once the deputy was promoted
Perhaps he had every intent on killing the deputy, but someone beat him to it.
There's a rumor that the deputy was in on it, and later killed by a family member of the Sheriff as retribution, but since small town CSI is never very good, they just assumed it was the same man who killed the sheriff.
All we really know is that both the sheriff and the deputy are dead, so if you are going to break some laws, now is definitely the time to do it!
***Did you know*** In a 2001 documentary The life of Bob Marley, an ex-girlfriend, Esther Anderson, claimed that the song was about birth control, and that she helped write it.
Just Like Cherry Cola...
Someone once tried to tell me that "Lola" is a transvestite. Is that true? If so, I don't believe it.
- SuperJay
Dear SuperJay,
Believe it or not, the song Lola, by the Kinks, is about a transvestite. But this was a very good question as the lyrics posted all over the internet are different depending on where you look.
The controversy lies in the lyric:
"I know what I am, and that I'm a man, and so is Lola."
I've also seen:
"I know what I am, I'm glad I'm a man, and so it Lola."
Which would indicate that Lola is glad that the protagonist of the song is man, but doesn't really indicate Lola's sexuality.
and:
"I know what I am, in bed I'm a man, and so is Lola."
...which is "right out!"
But all of this is neither here, nor there, as there are many other lyrics that hint at Lola's sexuality all through out the song. You can check out the lyrics on the web by clicking this button,
The song was inspired by the band's manager, who was dancing with what he thought was a woman one night at a Soho Club. Apparently as the night went on, "her" stuble started to show, but he was too drunk to notice.
***Did you know?*** Before the song was released, the BBC insisted that they change their lyrics, but not for what you would think. The original lyric was "where they served champagne that tastes just like coca cola". As this was free advertising for Coke, the BBC censored them.
Thursday, September 29, 2005
Yeah, you're going to want to get that checked out!
There could be many reasons for this uncomfortable burning you are feeling. The simplest answer would be a simple urinary tract infection. This is something you would want to have checked out by a doctor, preferably a urologist. While it may be a small burning now, it could escalate to something severe in the future. Remember Tom Hanks' character in Green Mile? Definitely something you don't want to go through.
My cat had a severe bladder infection that caused urethral scarring and ended up in having his penis removed, so you probably want to have it checked out.
The other possibility is that you have contracted an STD from someone and that is causing the burning. In either case, you definitely want to get checked out by a doctor and have the problem resolved before you have sex with anyone else, as either one can be passed on to others.
Bottom line, go see a doctor, I am, most assuredly, not one!
On a warm summer's evening...
In the song "The Gambler", by Kenny Rogers, does the gambler die at the end?
Dear Tormented,
This has been a long standing argument between one of my friends and I, and the short answer is, yes, yes he does!
I will state my case my by pointing out two lyrics in the song. The first being when the Gambler states:
"ev’ry hand’s a winner and ev’ry hand’s a loser,
He is saying that its really hard to get ahead in life, and the best thing that can happen to you is a peaceful exit from this world.
Later in the song the singer (Kenny I guess) states that:
"[The Gambler] Crushed out his cigarette and faded off to sleep.
"Broke even" is used here as an analogy for death due to what he said earlier about best thing you can hope for. Also, as the singer says "in his final words", and not "in his final words, to me" then it is assumed that they were in fact his final words and he has indeed slipped this mortal coil.
I know that some feel that this song is open to interpretation, but it seems to me to be a pretty open and shut case. Comments?
Free Trade for All!
I was watching the Daily Show last night and he mentioned something about the Swoot-Harley Tariff Act or something, what is that all about?
-Confounded in Cleveland
Dear Confounded,
The Smoot-Hawley Tariff Act of 1930 was designed to protect American farmers from the post World War I recovery of European farms and the agricultural overproduction that ensued. It set unreasonably high tariffs on imported goods, not only on agricultural items, but many other items as well. What was initially supposed to help the economy ended up worsening the Great Depression in the long run.
Which all goes back to my belief that free trade is best. While jobs may be lost in the short run, the economic gains in the long run far outweigh the short-term losses.
All the more reason you should've paid attention in your senior high school US Government class.
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
Killer Ta-Ta's From Outer Space!
I have a random question about movies for you, you being an odd movie buff yourself!
Have you ever heard of a horror movie where this woman goes around and smothers men with her gigantic ta-ta's? I have been trying to think of the name forever it seems and I just can't. I saw it while in London and now I want to surprise a friend with the movie (not that she is any stranger to gigantic ta-ta's herself...). Any help? :)
Fifi,
That's not a lot of information to go on... hmm... I seem to remember a CSI episode where a large woman smothers a man to death while enjoying being on top, but I think she crushed his ribcage, the "ta-ta's" weren't really involved. So that's not it!
Actually, I believe you might be talking about Deadly Weapons. Starring Chesty Morgan (not making that up) and directed by Doris Wishman. Chesty's boyfriend is killed by the mob and she swears her revenge, using only the gifts God gave her!
I've never actually seen it though, so if you procur a copy, make sure you let me watch it!
Monkeys! Monkeys Everywhere!
Hearing you mention the Monkey Island game brought back fond memories of Guybrush Threepwood and the dreaded Pirate LeChuck. My little brother and I loved playing the Monkey Island series of games. Where were you able to purchase it? -Marika
Marika,
I am luckily the owner already of the Monkey Island series (It was actually the first computer game I ever owned, even before I had a computer). The newest episodes in the tragic, yet highly amusing, chronicles of dear old Mr. Threepwood (if you're nasty) are available on the LucasArts website.
For the older versions I would recommend checking out ebay, though sometimes a well stocked Half-price Books will be your friend, or possibly your local used game store (though I turned up nothing in my area). And of course I always recommend e-mailing LucasArts and telling them to stop making so many Star Wars games and get back to classic Monkey-ventures!
Good luck, and may all your problems be solved by a chicken with pulley!
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That is one question I don't know the answer to, other than that we just are. Don't believe me? Ask another Tim.
Why should we believe your answers, what are you motives for this?
You should absolutely never believe anyone100% of the time without verifying the source. But I can promise you my motives here are boredom, and lack of job satisfaction. I will not "jerk your chain" and will give honest answers to the best of my ability.
Did you eat paint chips as a child?
You'd be surprised how often I'm asked that! But no, I did not. I'm just your average everyday dork.
Can we ask you questions about Star Wars?
Why, yes, you can! Realize, though, that my answers will most likely be limited to the original 3 movies, as anything that George Lucas produced after he went crazy in the mid 90's should not be compared to level of greatness acheived with Empire Strikes Back.
[publisher's note: George Lucas did not actually go crazy]
Can we ask you questions about The Lord of the Rings?
I will answer any questions you may ask.
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Geez, what's with all the nerds, this is not a forum for debating all things nerdy! It is here as a public service... ...and no, I hate Star Trek!
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AskingTim@gmail.com
Do I have to capitalize it like that?
No, you don't!
