Ask a Tim

fine! you try finding a picture of Mother Theresa with a puppy...

The other point of view of course being the religious one. In this case, there is a belief in some higher power (God, Allah, Fate, Karma or otherwise) that has a master plan for all living beings. That means that everything happens for a reason, and your question would then be, "Why does God allow bad things to happen to good people." My question there would be, who's to say it's bad? If God controls all, and has a plan for all, then somehow this "bad thing" actually has a good purpose.

I myself, am a macro thinker, I tend to look at things on a large scale, without caring too much with the short term results, as long as the big picture is created correctly. God, I imagine, would be a macro thinker on a much, much (lets say all-knowingly) larger scale. I would imagine that God would also be able to think in the fourth dimension, which is time, and would therefore see the big picture all at once. Under this thinking, Mother Teresa's dead puppy may have saved millions of people from death by acid 4500 years in the future, we just don't know!

One last thought, perhaps there is not a disproportionate amount of bad things happening to good people, and good things happening to bad people. Maybe it is just our perspective. Perhaps we never notice all the good things that happen in our life, and only focus on the negative. Then we look at all the good things that happen to bad people but not all the bad things in their life.

Plus, who among us mortals is to say who is truly good, and who is truly bad. Perhaps the church minister who seems good, was responsible for the genocide of thousands in Africa years ago, and not even his family knows. And perhaps the asshole in accounting, who just won the lottery, has a sick mother and father at home with medical expenses that he spends all his money on. We can never see the true nature of people just by looking at them.


There is a book out there somewhere, called "When BadThings Happen to Good People," by Harold Kushner. I have never read it, but it may help you. I'm sure you can pick it up where ever fine books are sold... or from the bookshelf of a friend who owns "Chicken Soup for the Soul." One self-help book tends to breed others!

One final question for you to ponder... If a person is truly good, would they question why things are happening, or do their best to make a bad situation good?

***Did you know*** Coelacanths are mucilaginous, which means their scales release mucus and their bodies continually exude oil. The oil acts as a laxative and makes the fish almost completely unedible. Plus, mucilaginous is just fun to say. Go ahead and try it! Say mucilaginous outloud and try and tell me you are not having a good time!

really not all that stylish

Ok, fine, I'll tell you why we don't have a flying car. Its because the internal combustion engine just isn't efficient, or powerful enough to power a fleet of flying cars. Look at the current difficulties planes have getting off the ground. If we all had flying cars with the technology we have today, sure, traffic jams would be gone, but imagine the wait for the runway. We would need an alternate propulsion system that would not only give the power needed to provide for long distance personal airtravel, but also that would get the damn thing off the ground with a vertical, as opposed to horizontal, take off.

right idea, wrong price tag (approx. $80 million each)

So you get out there and produce an anti-gravity device that runs of of water, and we'll have our flying cars. Then we'll deal with the whole, "How to keep people from flying into buildings" issue!

Hobbes: A new decade is coming up.
Calvin: Yeah, big deal! Hmph. Where are the flying cars? Where are the moon colonies? Where are the personal robots and the zero gravity boot, uh? You call this a new decade?! You call this the future?? HA! Where are the rocket packs? Where are the disintegration rays? Where are the floating cities?
Hobbes: Frankly, I'm not sure people have the brains to manage the technology they've got.
Calvin: I mean, look at this! We still have the weather?! Give me a break!

Dear Mr. Houston,

I think the more important question is why would you want to take a stripper home with you, but since that was not the question asked, its not the questions I'll answer.

Strippers are like all women, except that they freely take off pieces of clothing and will grind up against your "member" for money. And like all women they like to feel appreciated. But before we get there, lets start with some simple strip club ettiquette (hey, just because your looking at naked women, it doesn't give you the right to act uncouth):

-Fix yourself up like you are going out to a bar to pick up women
-Don't wear a belt (it can be uncomfortable when they are bumping their "hoo ha" up against your "a-hem", those are industry terms by the way)
-Don't get too drunk
-Bring lots of cash

Now starting out with the above four items will get you started in the right direction to getting some sweet stripper something (probably crabs). But it takes more than looking good and spending lots of money to get a stripper to go anywhere with you other than the champagne room and give you any other number than the one to the local pizza place.

You have to talk to them like they are a girl at a bar. This can be difficult because its not very often that, while at a bar you have a topless girl in a thong on your lap, but it can be done.

And strippers, like most women, are not going to respond to a "line". I'll be honest, I've never actually picked up a woman at a bar and I've never taken a stripper home. But I've seen both done and neither one was done by saying, "I really like that g-string, it would look great balled up on my floor in the morning!"

But, when you get right down to it, strippers are girls too. And all girls like a guy who is smart and attractive, and has a good sense of humor. Appreciate their talents, compliment the way they look, and don't just stare at their boobs (unless she's giving you a dance), and you'll do just as well as you do with other women.

One final note: You will most likely have an easier time picking up a girl at a bar, than you will picking up a stripper. Girls at bars are drunker and typically more likely to fall for your stupid crap. Strippers on the other hand, have been taking $20 "shots" of water all night, are fairly sober, and are used to getting hit on by lecherous men. A girl at a bar, if she doesn't like you, will simply walk away. A stripper who you like, but doesn't like you, will most likely cause you take out a second mortgage on your home.

taken in Golden Gate Park Japanese Tea Garden

The Reclining Buddha

The large fellow is in Laos

The Standing Buddha

located in Polonnarruwa, the city of ruins

And of course your Happy Buddha, formally called Hotei

located in Suzhou, China

Now, that you have your Buddha's for all occasions, I will explain why. The skinny Buddha's are going to be one of your first 28 Buddha's, most often you will see Siddhartha, as he is the Brad Pitt of Buddha's.

But the latter, fatter, happy Buddha is believed to be a medieval Chinese Monk, named Hotei, who was regarded as an incarnation of the bodhisattva soon to be Maithrieya. But this claim was only allegorical and therefore it is not an official Buddha statue. Though he had the potential, he just didn't apply himself. Instead, he has become a Taoist (pronounced with "d" instead of "t") deity of contentment and abundance. He also persists in Japanese folklore as one of the seven happy gods.

He is also called "Bu-dai" or "Mi Le Fo" and dubbed the "Loving", or "Friendly One".

Buddhism, like all major religions, is very complicated and has many intricate details specific to the region where it is practiced. I have tried to answer in general terms where possible, or in relation to "traditional" Buddhist doctrine. As one who has not spent much time at all learning about Buddhism, my answers to this may be inaccurate. Feel free to correct me as needed.

***Did you Know*** Though it is not a form of official Buddhist doctrine, it is popular folklore that rubbing Hotei's belly will bring forth fortune, prosperity and good luck. Which is probably where the practice of rubbing bald men's noggins for luck, came from.