Ask a Tim

Tim,

Did you watch South Park last night about Scientology? In the part where they give the history of how the alien spirits inhabited the first men on earth, the caption at the bottom of the screen said "this is actually what scientologists believe". Is that really what they believe - that frozen aliens were shot to earth, thawed in our volcanoes, spirits released, but couldn't escape earth because of a special "spirit catching machine"that kept them on earth and they finally inhabited the souls of man, which is why we have all the agony and problems of today? Is all this what they believe, or is South Park just making fun of them?




Dear Searching,

That is indeed one of the beliefs of the Scientologists. After doing research on the subject today, I found, to my surprise, that pretty much everything on the South Park episode last night was true. (Including that we all really want Tom Cruise to "come out of the closet)

Basically, the story told on South Park is not something you would learn as a Scientologist until you reach what they call the Operating Thetan level three (or OT III to you laymen). The majority of the Scientology congregation don't make it along the "bridge" that far, so it could be considered not a mainstream belief of the masses of the "believers". But there are many references in their literature to extraterrestrial past lives, and internal publications are often illustrated with spaceships and references to cataclysmic events that happened "75 million years ago.

For those of you who missed the episode last night (which I highly recommend you watch if you get the chance) I'll give you a quick rundown. [deep breath]

Millions (perhaps even billions or trillions) of years ago an intergalactic warlord named Xenu decided there was a population problem. So he round up billions of victims and froze them, then transported them on intergalactic DC 8's (seriously, not making this up) and sent them to Earth (which was then called Teegeeack) and strapped them all to volanoes and then blew up the volcanoes with hydrogen bombs. Of course before this he brainwashed them with "3-D, super colossal motion pictures" for 36 days. These tormented spirits then roamed the Earth until the dawn of man, when they attached themselves to our bodies and minds and have made us all highly uncomfortable ever since.

THIS IS WHAT SCIENTOLOGISTS ACTUALLY BELIEVE!

Of course, if you have a friend that is a Scientologist, they will probably not even be aware of this story, as they don't have enough money, to get enough auditing, to raise their Thetan (or spirit) levels high enough to become an OT III.

The reason I know this is because there have been many court cases against the Scientologists, and this information has been revealed in court, and its all readily available on the world wide web.

So I guess the short answer to your question is "Yes, yes it is." There is a heck of lot more I could write about here (like L. Ron being crazy and paranoid, the woman who died while under their "healing" touch, the millions and millions of dollars this "non-profit" makes, or that fact that the original tenets appeared in a Sci-Fi magazine) but that would really be much to long of a post (as if it isn't already).

***Did you know***
The highest, published OT level is OT VII, and its secrets are only revealed at sea, on the Scientology cruise ship, Freewinds . The next levels OT IX and OT X have not been released yet, and supposedly L. Ron has written up to OT XV. The cruise ship is also used as recreation for celebrities such as Tom Cruise, and is supposedly built with large amounts of asbestos.

In case you are worried about Xenu coming back and making us watch bad movies, he is alledgedly imprisoned in a mountain by a force field powered by an eternal battery...

...so we got that going for us.

wow. just wow.

southpark: funny and educational. i love it.

I guess it's because I haven't completed OT II yet that I really didn't understand that gibberish about OT III... :-)

Man, that is some creative stuff there. It makes me think that someone with some fantastic paranoid delusions came up with it all...wow...

Hi Tim,

I wondered where you came from...lol. Now I see some familiar names in your comments section.

Thanks for your recent answers on The Big Question. Looking forward to reading more.

Take care,
Sublime