Ask a Tim

Animal Abductors

2006-10-02T21:10:00.000-07:00

Dear Tim,

Why did the seagulls take my sister?

-Sisterless in San Diego

Dear Sisterless,

First off, I am sorry to hear of your personal tragedy. I'm never the person with the right words for these situations, so I won't burden you with any.

As to your question, possibly the answer will provide some condolence. Your situation is not that unusual, for many years there have been instances of children being taken by animals. There is the case of the dingo in Australia who took a baby, the bears who took a small child in Montana, and the lesser known incident of a family of meerkats who were stole a small monkey.

But this isn't only a recent occurrence. There is the legend of the Jungle Book in which Mowgli was taken in by a family of wolves. Wolves once mothered Romulus and Remus, the founders of Rome, as well. And of course, most every knows of the Mayan legend of the Alpacas who took in a young prince, and then mustered the Mighty Alpacan Armies to defeat the Conquistadors.

suckling at the non-proverbial teat

My thoughts are that animals are attempting to bridge the communication gap between man and beast. The first way that they have attempted this is by giving up their young to live in our homes. Dogs and cats have been the most successful in this infiltration, with monkeys, ferrets and hedgehogs also have some degree of success. Of course cows have failed at this quite miserably.

The second, and lesser used method is that animals have brought our young into their homes, in hopes of bridging the communication gap. While once again, dogs have had the most success at this, that doesn't mean that seagulls or other creatures won't take the chance when opportunity presents itself. As humans are the more advanced, it is harder for animals to abduct our young, so it does happen rarely.

So yes, your sister was kidnapped by seagulls, but you can rest easy in the knowledge that her abduction could help bridge the gap between man and seagull (unless they fed her to their young). My advice to you, if you have any siblings left, would be to always travel in numbers and protect them at all times. The animals could act at any moment.

And I even had my Wisdom teeth taken out...

2006-06-06T09:10:00.000-07:00

Dear Tim,

Can a gap in your teeth be a hereditary thing? Or is it totally up to chance?

-Derek

Dear Derek,

First off, thanks for submitting a question! I have been sitting patiently in the wings for months now, awaiting a new question to stimulate my noggin.

This is a question that I have a lot of personal experience with. Not only have I had orthodontics in my mouth for about half my life (I finally ripped my bottom retainer off a few months ago), but I can also see how I get my bite directly from my father. While the "perfect" mouth has a slight overbite, mine is stubborn in biting straight down, front teeth on front teeth, which means my back teeth don't touch.

But to answer your question, there are two types of causes for irregular teeth. The first, as you mentioned, is hereditary. Hereditary factors include a mismatch in the sizes of upper and lower jaws (your bite), an abnormal number of teeth (either too many, or too few), or mismatching in tooth and jaw sizes (either your jaw is too big or too small, or your teeth are). The last two are the factors that would cause a gap in the teeth.

The other cause for irregular teeth is environmental factors. These include early loss of deciduous teeth, bad habits (such as digit sucking or pen biting), lack of proper oral care leading to oral disease, or lost teeth due to oral disease or traumatic injury.

So, to answer your question, a gap in the teeth is definitely not up to pure luck. It is either because one of your parents had it, or you didn't brush as often as you should have (or got hit in the face by a brick).

I unfortunately had the combination of hereditary factors that included both misaligned jaw and too many teeth. This led to having over 8 baby teeth pulled, 2 permanents pulled, 2 years of retainer, followed by four years of braces, followed by one year of retainer, then a palate expander for a year, another two years of braces, and then retainers again for about 6 years.

***DID YOU KNOW***
Over four years ago scientists were claiming that the next mobile phones would be in a tooth. It would use a tiny vibrating plate to send sound waves from received calls, through your jawbone to your ear canal. Of course, the big problem wasn't getting you to hear it, but getting the other person to hear you. Since words are not formed just by your voicebox, but also by the shape your lips make as you speak the word, the complication was in getting your words to sound correctly to the other person.

Stick shifts and Safety Belts ... have all got to go!

2006-03-24T08:24:00.000-08:00

Dear Tim,

Do you think cars with stick shifts will eventually be phased out in favor of automatics? I ask only because I know nothing about cars and I always assumed that when cars were first invented they were stick shifts and then they were upgraded to automatics to be more convenient. Personally I wouldn't want stick shifts to become a thing of the past because they're speedy and fun to drive (except in San Francisco).

-Anne

Dear Anne,

I personally think that standard transmissions will eventually be phased out, but not for a long time to come.

I myself enjoy a standard transmission, as do most people who are absolutely nuts about cars. A standard transmission can reduce gas mileage, increase power to the engine, and reduce wear and tear on brake pads by using it to help slow the car. Some people are so fanatical about them that I doubt it will be anytime soon that we are without that choice.

When I first read your question, I thought it would be sooner rather than later, as I didn't know if hybrid cars are available in standard. Since Hybrids definately are the "wave of the future" their availbility in standard would determine the fate of the stick shift. But after some quick research I found that Honda offers a couple of models in standard, so it will live on to see another day.

So while we will most likely see standards through our lifetime, there could come a day when the standard has gone the way of the dodo, perhaps for your children, or their children.

One of the main things that could cause this would be to create a new type of engine that is no longer internal combustion. Once the day of the solplasmic (solor/plasma/electric) engine run car, the stick shift will fade into the past. But until the day of that engine named the word I just made up, we should still see the standard transmission on the plate.

And you are right, a stick shift if both fun and speedy to drive...

(except in San Francisco)

Tennis Anyone?!?

2006-01-30T16:08:00.000-08:00

Dear Tim,

Why do they call it a diamond tennis bracelet? What does it have to do with tennis?

-Rika

Dear Rika,

This is a very good question, and I've always wondered about it myself. Having played tennis most of my life, I know that wearing something on your wrist can be an encumbrance while playing. I once broke the face of my watch on my follow through. Though, to be honest, most good tennis players don't usually end up hitting their wrist with their racket, but the question remains!

First off, for those without a penchant for "bling", the term tennis bracelet is used to describe an in-line diamond bracelet. It was originally called an "in-line diamond bracelet" but as that term is just plain boring, the stage was set for something exciting to happen.

And something exciting happened indeed. In 1987, the ever elegant, always graceful, former #1 World women's tennis player, winner of whopping 18 Grand Slam singles titles, and sometimes grunter (not to mention the love of my life at the time), Chris Everet was sporting (pun intended) said bracelet during one of her U.S. Open matches. During an especially powerful return, the bracelet - in what some describe as a "slow-motion-event" (or SME) - was flung from her wrist to land carelessly on the hard court.

Play was stopped to allow her to find her bracelet, and while awaiting play to resume, the television announcers jokingly referred to it as her "tennis bracelet".

Due to Chris being such a popular player, the name stuck, and demand skyrocketed for the bracelet.

In all her glory...

***Did you know***
Tennis Rocks! And my all time favorite player was Jimmy Connors, mainly because of his arm spin and pump that he would do after an especially great winning shot! He also played with a wooden and metal racket long after most players had moved to the newer, graphite models.

Jimmy!

Freaky Friday!

2006-01-13T08:56:00.000-08:00

Dear Tim,

How did Friday the 13th become an unlucky day?

-Freaking out in Fredericksburg

Dear Freaking,

That is a fantastic question, and even with all my research I really can't find a definite answer. But let's start small.

First off, Friday's in general have a had a bad rap for a long time. It has long been an old wives tale that Friday's are a bad day to start a new venture, finish an old venture, birth a child or do anything that is really important. This can be verified in literature beginning around the mid-17th century

Christianity usually gets the credit for this, for a few reasons. It is believed that Jesus was crucified on Friday, Eve gave Adam the apple and they were expunged from the garden, Noah's flood began, and the mass confusion at the Tower of Babel occurred. Non-ironically enough, Good Friday is considered a very good day to do anything.

Pre-Christianity (yes there was a time) Friday was the sabbath. This could also be a reason that it is considered a bad day to do things, as anything done would not have the blessings of God upon them. Friday was also execution day in pagan Rome.

There were also other pagan relations to Friday being a holy day. Since a pagan holy day couldn't be the same as a Christian holy day, the sabbath moved to Sunday and friday became known in the Middle ages as the "Witches' Sabbath".

Thirteen also has had bad connotations for awhile. Once again, the reason for this are lost in the mists of time, but we have some really good ideas. One of the main theories is that it originally began as bad luck to sit down to a meal with only 12 other people. If that occurs, one of the members will certainly die within the year. This could stem from the Last Supper, where Jesus sat down with his 12 disciples, and was shortly after killed.

There is also a Nordic myth that 12 gods sat down for a meal, and Loki, god of mischief and the uninvited "13th" guest, arrived in quite a mood. He lobbed a mistletoe branch at Balder, god of joy and gladness, and killed him instantly, plunging the world into a period of darkness and mourning. (for Vikings to have a such a fierce reputation, they sure have wimpy gods)

Thirteen people at a table has also been considered taboo in Hindu cultures for quite a while, though the reason for this is unknown.

A proper witches coven contains 13 members.

My favorite theory I found on this was that prehistoric man, when he first began counting, could only count as high as 12, having only 10 fingers and two feet. What lay beyond this finite number of 12? Why, it could only be 13, which is scary and freaky! wooooo!

The Egyptians taught that life was a quest for spiritual ascension, unfolded in stages, 12 while alive, and the 13th being death and the afterlife. Though they viewed death as a positive thing, it is possible this belief of death being associated with 13 has been corrupted by later cultures.

The fear of 13 people at a table eventually grew into hating all things that come in thirteen's. Except perhaps a baker's dozen, because there is nothing wrong with 13 donuts! This has led to, among other things, buildings not having a 13th floor and Bilbo Baggins joining a crew of dwarves to steal their treasure back from a dragon.

For whatever reason, both 13 and Friday have long been considered an evil thing. So adversely to the wondrous invention of whoever it was that put their chocolate in my peanut butter (Loki!!!), when Friday and 13 meet up it is a very bad thing.

Fear of this day is thought to be no older than the 19th century, as there are no literary mentions of it before that time. Though a recent myth (thank you very much DaVinci Code) is that it is feared because October the 13th, 1307, a friday, was the day that most of the Order of the Knights of Templar, were arrested and falsely accused of crimes, in order to get rid of the Order, forever.

It is estimated that somewhere between $800-$900 million is lost every Friday the 13th, due to people skipping work for fear of leaving the house.

Recent scientists believe that it is the fear and anxiety the day produces, rather than any foul luck, that creates the increase in accidents and mishaps on these days.

***DID YOU KNOW***
In Spain, Tuesday's are considered the "bad" day, with Tuesday the 13th being even worse. There is a proverb "En martes, ni te cases ni te embarques" (on Tuesday, neither marry nor begin a journey).

Christmas Tales

2005-12-20T13:31:00.000-08:00

Is it true that we don't really know when Jesus's birthday really was? Is it true that early Christians said Christ's birthday is December 25 because it is close to other religious, such as pagans, holidays and made them easier to convert?

-Perplexed in Patagonia

Dear Perplexed,

It is true, we DON'T really know when Jesus' birthday was, but we do know it most likely wasn't in winter if we are to believe the rest of the tale. While it wouldn't be uncommon for Shepards to be tending their flock in December at night (about the time new grass begins to grow) it is more likely that it was in the Spring, when they would be there to assist with birthing of Spring lambs.

Many modern day scholars and astronomers have spent a lot time trying to determine a date based on astronomical events that were happening around that time (Star of David).

The first recorded time of Christmas on the 25th was in Constantinople (before it was Istanbul) around 379 AD after Emperor Constantine converted to Christianity on his death bed (first death bed conversion recorded as well) and Rome followed his lead.

It is believed it was done as way to get pagans to stop having their pagan fun on the 25th for Winter Solstice, but it was probably a way to get Christians to stop observing the solstice, and worship Jesus instead. It was most likely not done as a conversion tool, but a way to get current Christians from reverting to Pagan ways.

Originally, it was the Epiphany feast, celebrated on January 6th, which is where the 12 days of Christmas come from (the time between the 25th and the 6th), and many Christian religions refused to celebrate the 25th well into the 1800's.

Many Orthodox Catholics still celebrate the Epiphany on the 6th.

***Did you know*** According to Howard Clarke, in the US, Christmas cards bearing the Magi outsell those of the shepards.

You play it with your feet!

2005-12-09T08:36:00.000-08:00

Where did the word "soccer" come from? Are Americans the only people in the world that call it soccer?

-Juggling in Johanesburg

Dear Juggling,

If you are like many of us, you first discovered that Soccer was known by other names when you took your first Spanish class. There you learned that "futbol" referred to soccer, while "futbol americana" is what we call football.

There is a short answer and long answer to this question, but in the interest of the meeting I'm about to adjourn too, we'll stick with the short.

Soccer was originally known as football (as it is played with the feet almost exclusively). It is often referred to as Soccer in english speaking countries where there is a rival code of football that is more popular. Codes such as Rugby football, Austrailian rules football, or even Canadian rules football (I think they call it hockey).

FIFA, known for being the world authority on soccer and its great Playstation games, refers to the sport as football.

The IOC (or International Olympic Committee) uses football as well.

Australia recently made a national change to call it only football, much to the amusement of fans. England also calls it football, and both countries will sometimes simplify it to "footie".

The term soccer first originated around the 1880's as a slang term for Association Football (yea, I don't see any R's in it either).

So America is one of the main countries that uses the phrase Soccer. There are others, like Canada, where the usage of "soccer" is so popular even in French speaking Quebec it is called "le soccer"

In white South Africa it is mainly called soccer, while black South African's generally use "football". In the language of Afrikaans, it would be "sokker".

In Irish (or Gaelic) it is "sacar", and they have a league of Gaelic football. But to go into all the idiosyncracies of Irish life would just be far too confusing for this simple post.

Outside of these few countries, everyone else calls it "football", or they speak another language so this is all a moot point.

But the term "soccer" is on the rise. Most likely due to the U.S. wanting the rest of the world to be just like us, and instituting trade embargo's until they call it what we want. It makes it easier for us to turn your interesting little town into nothing more than a tourist stop on our way to our next stop on the new Consumer based Imperialism that is all the rage right now. (Ok, there are so many things gramatically wrong with this last sentence that I don't even know how to fix it!)

That's just how we roll!

Scientologicaltastic!

2005-11-17T09:22:00.000-08:00

Tim,

Did you watch South Park last night about Scientology? In the part where they give the history of how the alien spirits inhabited the first men on earth, the caption at the bottom of the screen said "this is actually what scientologists believe". Is that really what they believe - that frozen aliens were shot to earth, thawed in our volcanoes, spirits released, but couldn't escape earth because of a special "spirit catching machine"that kept them on earth and they finally inhabited the souls of man, which is why we have all the agony and problems of today? Is all this what they believe, or is South Park just making fun of them?

-Searching in Scranton

Dear Searching,

That is indeed one of the beliefs of the Scientologists. After doing research on the subject today, I found, to my surprise, that pretty much everything on the South Park episode last night was true. (Including that we all really want Tom Cruise to "come out of the closet)

Basically, the story told on South Park is not something you would learn as a Scientologist until you reach what they call the Operating Thetan level three (or OT III to you laymen). The majority of the Scientology congregation don't make it along the "bridge" that far, so it could be considered not a mainstream belief of the masses of the "believers". But there are many references in their literature to extraterrestrial past lives, and internal publications are often illustrated with spaceships and references to cataclysmic events that happened "75 million years ago.

For those of you who missed the episode last night (which I highly recommend you watch if you get the chance) I'll give you a quick rundown. [deep breath]

Millions (perhaps even billions or trillions) of years ago an intergalactic warlord named Xenu decided there was a population problem. So he round up billions of victims and froze them, then transported them on intergalactic DC 8's (seriously, not making this up) and sent them to Earth (which was then called Teegeeack) and strapped them all to volanoes and then blew up the volcanoes with hydrogen bombs. Of course before this he brainwashed them with "3-D, super colossal motion pictures" for 36 days. These tormented spirits then roamed the Earth until the dawn of man, when they attached themselves to our bodies and minds and have made us all highly uncomfortable ever since.

THIS IS WHAT SCIENTOLOGISTS ACTUALLY BELIEVE!

Of course, if you have a friend that is a Scientologist, they will probably not even be aware of this story, as they don't have enough money, to get enough auditing, to raise their Thetan (or spirit) levels high enough to become an OT III.

The reason I know this is because there have been many court cases against the Scientologists, and this information has been revealed in court, and its all readily available on the world wide web.

So I guess the short answer to your question is "Yes, yes it is." There is a heck of lot more I could write about here (like L. Ron being crazy and paranoid, the woman who died while under their "healing" touch, the millions and millions of dollars this "non-profit" makes, or that fact that the original tenets appeared in a Sci-Fi magazine) but that would really be much to long of a post (as if it isn't already).

***Did you know***
The highest, published OT level is OT VII, and its secrets are only revealed at sea, on the Scientology cruise ship, Freewinds . The next levels OT IX and OT X have not been released yet, and supposedly L. Ron has written up to OT XV. The cruise ship is also used as recreation for celebrities such as Tom Cruise, and is supposedly built with large amounts of asbestos.

In case you are worried about Xenu coming back and making us watch bad movies, he is alledgedly imprisoned in a mountain by a force field powered by an eternal battery...

...so we got that going for us.

Serious Question? Is there any other kind?

2005-11-09T10:33:00.000-08:00

Dear Tim,

I have a serious question. I am completely unmotivated at work. I have work to do and bosses to report to, along with a ton of bills and high rent, and I know I'm blowing this job, but I cannot get my act together...can you answer THAT question??? And you see? It's 4:09 and I'm NOT WORKING! (And even if the internet wasn't here, I'd be staring off into space...)

-Elizabeth Taylor

Dear Ms. Taylor

This is, indeed, a very serious question! I was just having a conversation with a co-worker today who is new to the whole "working world" thing, (she's only 21 and this is her first job, isn't that cute) and I made the following observation to her.

From this point forward your life will consist of two things

a) You will, for atleast 2,080 hours of every year for the rest of your life, be in a place you would rather not be and most likely being underapprecitated for your talents. This place being work, those hours being 40 a week, and those people being your bosses

or

b)You will marry rich.

This unfortunately doesn't really answer your question (which wasn't really a question by the way, more of a diabtribe really, one that has perhaps been heard by others in the Dallas area that tend to frequent rooftops) but I'm getting there.

Well, the truth is, I have no answer. There is nothing I can say that will make you satisfied with your job and more content with the work you have to do. I'm not really the one to answer this question as I wasn't even at work yesterday at 4:09 (we got out an hour early to go vote), but even if I was I probably wouldn't have been working. In fact, I'm sure there is work I should be doing right now!

My problem is that I haven't found out what it is I truly want to do. I think once I figure that out, things will be better. Look at your ex who is blissfully happy having sold out to the "man" and is working for a small school in West Texas. Apparently, teaching is what makes him happy.

There are many people out there who are blissfully happy with the path their career has taken, and I, for one, despise these people.

We are not our parents generation of workers. My dad (and many other peoples' dads I know) worked the same job my entire life. He would drive 1.5 hours each way, worked hard, brought a lot of work home with him, and did this everyday. I have a lot of respect for that, I just don't want to be that way.

Its not that I don't have a good work ethic, I do. Its just that I am strongly holding on to not selling out to the "man." Every now I then I remember how America and Capitalism work, and realize I am hurting no one but myself, but I refuse to sell out!

Thoreau said in Walden , "The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed desperation. From the desperate city you go into the desperate country, and have to console yourself with the bravery of minks and muskrats. A stereotyped but unconscious despair is concealed even under what are called the games and amusements of mankind. There is no play in them, for this comes after work. But it is a characteristic of wisdom not to do desperate things."

I have always believed he was right, and I think now, women are begining to realize the truth of this as well. How to break this cycle, I don't know. I play the lottery, it seems to help some in that it gives me hope of something better. I'm sure its a little sad that the only thing I have to give me hope has the odds of 1 in 165,562,314,251 of ever happening, buts its better odds than me being satisfied with my current lot!

My advice? Find something that you truly enjoy doing, and somehow try and find a job that involves that. In most cases, it won't be what you majored in. In some cases it will.

I do find myself a little bitter sometimes though, I played by their rules. I got good grades in school, I got into and graduated from a great University, and things haven't worked out like they were supposed to. I was promised a good job and good income if I went to college, and damn it all, where is my money.... I think I'm going to write a nasty letter to my professors!

So to sum up, I have no idea how to remain motivated at your job, as I don't even know how to do it at mine. But if any of you out there have any ideas, please let us know!

The oracle has left the mountain top...

2005-10-20T08:15:00.000-07:00

I'll be heading out of town this weekend, and that means I won't be available to answer your questions until next week. But keep submitting and I'll keep answering!

Hurry up and ask while you still have a chance to be the first on your block to join the craze that is sweeping the nation! "Ask a Tim" is not just your grandfather's blog anymore!

The eternal question

2005-10-18T15:12:00.000-07:00

Dear Tim,

Why do bad things happen to good people? Conversely, why do good things happen to bad people?

-Karma, Karma, Karma Chameleon

Dear Karma,

The way I look at it, there are two ways to look at it!

The first being the non-religious perspective. If you look at things from this perspective, that there is no higher power with a master plan for all, then my question for you would be, "What about being good makes you deserve only good things to happen to you?" If a person feels that they are picked out from others and unjustly persecuted, who's doing the persecution. Do the stars themselves control this. Are the large balls of gas seen in the night sky actually displaying intelligence by causing Mother Theresa's puppy to get run over or that asshole in accounting to win the lottery? If there is no almighty power, then there is no rhyme or reason to good or bad things happening, they just do, and without prejudice.

fine! you try finding a picture of Mother Theresa with a puppy...

The other point of view of course being the religious one. In this case, there is a belief in some higher power (God, Allah, Fate, Karma or otherwise) that has a master plan for all living beings. That means that everything happens for a reason, and your question would then be, "Why does God allow bad things to happen to good people." My question there would be, who's to say it's bad? If God controls all, and has a plan for all, then somehow this "bad thing" actually has a good purpose.

I myself, am a macro thinker, I tend to look at things on a large scale, without caring too much with the short term results, as long as the big picture is created correctly. God, I imagine, would be a macro thinker on a much, much (lets say all-knowingly) larger scale. I would imagine that God would also be able to think in the fourth dimension, which is time, and would therefore see the big picture all at once. Under this thinking, Mother Teresa's dead puppy may have saved millions of people from death by acid 4500 years in the future, we just don't know!

One last thought, perhaps there is not a disproportionate amount of bad things happening to good people, and good things happening to bad people. Maybe it is just our perspective. Perhaps we never notice all the good things that happen in our life, and only focus on the negative. Then we look at all the good things that happen to bad people but not all the bad things in their life.

Plus, who among us mortals is to say who is truly good, and who is truly bad. Perhaps the church minister who seems good, was responsible for the genocide of thousands in Africa years ago, and not even his family knows. And perhaps the asshole in accounting, who just won the lottery, has a sick mother and father at home with medical expenses that he spends all his money on. We can never see the true nature of people just by looking at them.

There is a book out there somewhere, called "When BadThings Happen to Good People," by Harold Kushner. I have never read it, but it may help you. I'm sure you can pick it up where ever fine books are sold... or from the bookshelf of a friend who owns "Chicken Soup for the Soul." One self-help book tends to breed others!

One final question for you to ponder... If a person is truly good, would they question why things are happening, or do their best to make a bad situation good?

Sounds Fishy to Me!

2005-10-13T09:49:00.000-07:00

Dear Tim,

The other night I was in bed with some guy and he mentioned the coelacanth. What the hell is that, and how soon should I dump him!

-Confused after Coitus

Dear Confused,

Ah yes, the coelacanth. Once popularized by a VW commercial in the 90's, the coelocanth is a prehistoric fish that lived during the Cretaceous period (that's over 400-350 million years ago, to you and me). It was thought to be long extinct until 1938 when scientist Marjorie Courtenay-Latimer found one in South Africa off the coast of Madagascar. Many specimens have been found since.

The word is also used to describe something that was long thought gone, but shows up all of a sudden to your complete surprise. Which is how it was used in the commercial, an auto-mechanic compares the full size spare tire to the fish.

As for dumping this fellow collector of weird knowledge, well that all depends on the context he used it in.

If before putting on a condom, he muttered under his breath, "this condom is just like the coelacanth" then you should get rid of him right away, as he probably just found that in the back of his wallet, and had forgotten about it. And when a guy forgets about a condom, you know its been around a long time!

But if you said something like, "Wow! I thought sex that great was extinct!" and he replied, "Just like the coelacanth!" Then you might want to keep him around for awhile, because love is easy, but great sex is harder to come by than... ...well, harder to come by than a coelocanth.

Coelacanth!

***Did you know*** Coelacanths are mucilaginous, which means their scales release mucus and their bodies continually exude oil. The oil acts as a laxative and makes the fish almost completely unedible. Plus, mucilaginous is just fun to say. Go ahead and try it! Say mucilaginous outloud and try and tell me you are not having a good time!

I'm Stalking on Sunshine!

2005-10-12T08:54:00.000-07:00

Dear All-Knowing Tim,

This term I have found myself in class at school with a guy I was passively stalking last year. I find myself avoiding working with him in groups and not saying hello when I see him passing by in the hall or computer lab because I don't want to break the stalker-stalkee dynamic. I fear if I talk to him it will ruin it for me. At the same time I don't want him to think I am rude and unfriendly.

What would you do if you were me?

-Too close for comfort

Dear Close,

First off, let me start off by saying good for you for only passively stalking! Putting yourself in situations where you can see someone as they buy their morning coffee, eat their lunch, or being in a hallway they frequent is perfectly fine. Its when you find yourself standing outside their window at night in the pouring down rain that it starts to get a little creepy, so we'll just assume that is not what you are doing!

So obviously, this is a guy that you like, otherwise, you wouldn't be wasting your free time following him around, but now you find yourself in the position to actually meet him and are unsure whether he will meet up to your expectations.

The stalker-stalkee dynamic is a very sensitive one, and being in class with them definitely shakes things up a bit.

My advice would be to go ahead and make yourself available to meeting him. Realize though, that most likely he won't meet up to the ideal you have of him in your mind, but then again, he may. Its much better to challenge that ideal than always have the "what if" scenario rotating through your head.

Also, it sounds like your days of stalking him are over anyway (you said it was last year) so you don't really have a lot to lose either way.

He may indeed turn out to be someone you can really relate to, but if not, there are plenty other eligible men out there for you to stalk!

Who knows, it could end up being a great story... "How did you two meet?" "Oh, I stalked him for about six months, then he ended up being in a class with me!"

Guys do indeed enjoy a girl who can make the first move, so I highly recommend initiating the conversation with him, though you might want to avoid something like, "Man, I just seem to run into you everywhere!" And if he says something like, "Aren't you the girl that was stalking me last year?" just tell him you were stalking his friend instead. Otherwise, he will think of you as that cute, somewhat creepy girl who is always looking at him, but never talks.

Plus, wouldn't you rather know that the person you are stalking is worth the effort?

Take a lesson from the Buddha, go into this without any expectations on the outcome, and you will be nothing but surprised!

***Did you know*** Although I appreciate the title "all-knowing," its really best not to encourage me! I already think too much of myself as it is!

Business class was never so gassy!

2005-10-12T07:52:00.000-07:00

Dear Tim,

Are gas prices starting to go down? Is now a good time to fill up or just get a few bucks worth?

-Combusting in Compton

Dear Combusting,

Gas prices will do, what gas prices will do. Typically, that means going up, but every now and then it will drop by a few cents for a couple of days.

I will rarely fill up my tank these days (mainly because its too depressing) unless I find a gas price that $.15 to $.20 below everywhere else. Then I will fill up like its going out of style.

Usually though, I take some of things I learned as a business major, and apply it to world of gas consumption. I use Dollar Cost Averaging when purchasing gas.

Dollar Cost Averaging is a technique designed to reduce market risk through the systematic purchase of securities at predetermined intervals and set amounts. Instead of investing one large lump sum, the investor works his way into position by slowly buying smaller amounts over a longer period of time. This spreads the cost basis out over several years, providing insulation against changes in market price.

Though this works in investing, it may not necessarily work in buying gas... ...but I feel that it does. So I may buy at $2.99 one day, but get it at $2.90 the next time I buy. So by spreading out my purchases I am effectively buying at an average of all the prices I pay.

Now you may be asking, "Well Tim, why don't you just fill up when its $2.90?" Well you silly, bad investor, it may be $2.90 today, but it could be $2.85 tomorrow!

So whether you decide to use the techniques of Dollar Cost Averaging, Diversification, Tax-free annuities, or good old-fashioned hoarding, one thing is certain. You like to drive. You need to drive. And gas is the only thing that makes that happen! So until demand drops, or supply increases, expect to continue to pay more for your gas. Its a great investment!

GOOOO-AAAAAA-LLLLLLL!

2005-10-11T12:55:00.000-07:00

Dear Tim,

This morning while taking a walk I saw a "pack" of women "walking their children" in strollers. This led to a question I think only you could answer: Where do soccer moms come from?

-A Marginal Thinker

Dear Thinker,

Before we can answer where do they come from, we first need to define what they are. Soccer Mom (genus Momus Soccercalis) is a term that was popularized in the late 90's as a genre of voters characterized by their married with children status. They are typically upper-middle class and in the ever dwindling single income family group (characterized by one spouse working, the other staying at home with the kids).

They can be identified by:

-their large SUV's, Volvo's, or minivans covered with stickers about their children,
-their (typically) white, pasty skin, and overprotective nature which is exhibited by staying at little league practice to make sure the coach is being "fair",
-their affair with the pool boy named Pablo,
-and by continuing to shelter their children by fighting their battles for them in college.

As it gets boring not having something to do everyday, they overschedule their children in activities so they'll have a reason to get out of the house and drink margaritas with their friends at soccer practice, or join the PTA, so they'll have a reason to get out of the house to drink Appletini's with their friends at a school.

Now I know what your asking, "Why soccer, when football is more the American pastime, in fact, American's hate soccer!" We do indeed hate soccer, but it is so much safer for the little tykes than that rough and "rumbly" sport of football. Football leads to nothing but trouble anyway, as it keeps their husbands from taking out the trash, talking about their day, or showering their bored-as-hell wives with affection. So no football for junior!

You see, American voters were tired of politicians pandering to the rich, white males, and by the early 90's, politicians figured that out. It is believed that the term was originated by a woman running for city council in Denver who listed her qualifications as "soccer mom". So politicians jumped on that bandwagon as soon as it drove by and pretty soon that's all we heard about. So instead of pandering to the rich, white males, they decided to broaden their scope and pander to their rich, white wives. The system works!

In answer to your question, "Where do soccer moms come from?" The answer is, they've always been here. If you look back into the antiquities of time, you'll find many examples of them.

Cleopatra was the first. We all know about her role as queen, but did you also know she was her son's den mother in Anubis Scouts!

Joan of Arc is the perfect example of what happens when women are left with unstructured time.

And of course, though Margaret Thatcher was the leader of Great Britain for so many years, she also had time to be head of the PTA for her child's class.

In fact, I believe my mother would have been a soccer mom, though she didn't know it at the time. Odds are, your mother was a soccer mom too!

The sad fact is though, that they are a dying breed. As cost of living and gas prices increase, and wages remain stagnant, it is becoming much harder for families to survive on one income.

Can you imagine a world without soccer moms? Grocery stores, empty in the middle of the day! Little league fields, conspicuously empty. And children, growing up on their own, learning to be more independant and make their choices! It brings a shudder, doesn't it!

So here's to soccer moms! They give the freeways a purpose in the middle of the day.

***Did you know*** Soccer mom's exist in other countries, but under different names. For instance in Canada, they are called "hockey moms". So I guess in Mexico they would be called "madres de futbol".

To Infinity and Beyond...

2005-10-10T16:48:00.000-07:00

Dear Tim,

How do I attain zero-gravity without going into space?

-Floating in Florida

Dear Floating,

The main way to experience zero-g (as the insiders call it) would be to travel to a very great height (like 2 miles up or so?) and then head towards the ground very quickly. During the minute or so it takes for you to impact upon the ground you will experience a near heavenly sense of weightlessness that typically only astronauts get to enjoy.

NASA actually uses this technique to familiarize new astronauts with being weightless. Of course they don't crash, they take the plane through a series of manuevers similar to that of a roller coaster. Hollywood has also used this technique for films like Apollo 13.

Have you ever ridden one of the many rides that take you really high into the air, only to quickly drop you back down? If yes, then that is probably the closest most people will get to zero-g. Next time you are riding one of these rides, put a couple of pennies on your knee. As you drop (if you keep you eyes open) you will notice the pennies floating weightlessly over your knee. (I'm pretty sure this is not allowed by the park, so don't let them see you.)

The only other way to do this doesn't exist. That would be to create a personal anti-gravitational device that would nullify the effects of gravity around you. Actually, there was a young inventor named Johan VonSchrodendinger that developed one in the early 20's. Unfortunately for him, as his device did not have an off switch, he is now orbiting somewhere in the vicinity of Mercury. Unfortunately for the rest of us, he kept all of his notes in an undecipherable unknown language.

Lea-ving on a Jet Plane!

2005-10-06T08:40:00.000-07:00

Tim,

Why don't we have flying cars yet? It was promised to us in the 1950's that by the 1980's highways as we know it would be obsolete. Yet here I am. Stuck in traffic. On the ground.

-Grounded in the Gulf Coast

Dear Grounded,

"Where's my flying car? Where's my my flying car?" What, are you not happy with the many other million of conveniences that modern technology has given you? How about the fact that you can take a crap inside your house and have it magically flushed away so someone else has to deal with it (just like cats).

What about the fact that you can contact anyone, anywhere in the world, at anytime, pretty much instantaneously?

Should we take away the millions and millions of bits of porn (and all other information too I guess) that are available at your fingertips on the internet to give you, your damn flying car?

The flying car was originally introduced to us by Hugo Gernsback, the founder of the pulp sci-fi mag, Amazing Stories, in the 1920's. Ever since then, shows like the Jetson's have popularized the flying car for future generations. Hey, how about the fact that we don't live in Orwell's 1984 or Huxley's Brave New World. How about avoiding a seemingly perfect, dystopian society? How's that for advancement! [ass!]

really not all that stylish

Ok, fine, I'll tell you why we don't have a flying car. Its because the internal combustion engine just isn't efficient, or powerful enough to power a fleet of flying cars. Look at the current difficulties planes have getting off the ground. If we all had flying cars with the technology we have today, sure, traffic jams would be gone, but imagine the wait for the runway. We would need an alternate propulsion system that would not only give the power needed to provide for long distance personal airtravel, but also that would get the damn thing off the ground with a vertical, as opposed to horizontal, take off.

right idea, wrong price tag (approx. $80 million each)

So you get out there and produce an anti-gravity device that runs of of water, and we'll have our flying cars. Then we'll deal with the whole, "How to keep people from flying into buildings" issue!

Hobbes: A new decade is coming up.
Calvin: Yeah, big deal! Hmph. Where are the flying cars? Where are the moon colonies? Where are the personal robots and the zero gravity boot, uh? You call this a new decade?! You call this the future?? HA! Where are the rocket packs? Where are the disintegration rays? Where are the floating cities?
Hobbes: Frankly, I'm not sure people have the brains to manage the technology they've got.
Calvin: I mean, look at this! We still have the weather?! Give me a break!

Is that a mirror in your thong?

2005-10-05T09:49:00.000-07:00

What's the best line to get strippers to come home with me?

-Horny in Houston

Dear Mr. Houston,

I think the more important question is why would you want to take a stripper home with you, but since that was not the question asked, its not the questions I'll answer.

Strippers are like all women, except that they freely take off pieces of clothing and will grind up against your "member" for money. And like all women they like to feel appreciated. But before we get there, lets start with some simple strip club ettiquette (hey, just because your looking at naked women, it doesn't give you the right to act uncouth):

-Fix yourself up like you are going out to a bar to pick up women
-Don't wear a belt (it can be uncomfortable when they are bumping their "hoo ha" up against your "a-hem", those are industry terms by the way)
-Don't get too drunk
-Bring lots of cash

Now starting out with the above four items will get you started in the right direction to getting some sweet stripper something (probably crabs). But it takes more than looking good and spending lots of money to get a stripper to go anywhere with you other than the champagne room and give you any other number than the one to the local pizza place.

You have to talk to them like they are a girl at a bar. This can be difficult because its not very often that, while at a bar you have a topless girl in a thong on your lap, but it can be done.

And strippers, like most women, are not going to respond to a "line". I'll be honest, I've never actually picked up a woman at a bar and I've never taken a stripper home. But I've seen both done and neither one was done by saying, "I really like that g-string, it would look great balled up on my floor in the morning!"

But, when you get right down to it, strippers are girls too. And all girls like a guy who is smart and attractive, and has a good sense of humor. Appreciate their talents, compliment the way they look, and don't just stare at their boobs (unless she's giving you a dance), and you'll do just as well as you do with other women.

One final note: You will most likely have an easier time picking up a girl at a bar, than you will picking up a stripper. Girls at bars are drunker and typically more likely to fall for your stupid crap. Strippers on the other hand, have been taking $20 "shots" of water all night, are fairly sober, and are used to getting hit on by lecherous men. A girl at a bar, if she doesn't like you, will simply walk away. A stripper who you like, but doesn't like you, will most likely cause you take out a second mortgage on your home.

Kurt Cobain, though in Nirvana, was not one!

2005-10-03T13:42:00.000-07:00

Dear Tim,

Why are there two types of Buddhas? There's the fat, jolly guy at the all you can eat Chinese buffet place, then there's the other possibly Thai/Indian Buddha (?) that is skinny, solemn looking, with the head dress. What's the deal?

-Seeking Enlightenment

Dear Seeking,

This is a very good question. First off, a little background on Buddha. There are many different sects of Buddhism, so the answers for this could be varied. Most people assume that Siddhartha Gautama was the Buddha. He has been popularized by both the book "Siddhartha" by Herman Hesse, and by the movie, Little Buddha, with Keanu Reeves (personally, I think this was his best role, as he never actually spoke in the movie, that I remember anyway).

But the story of the spoiled rich prince who gave up a life of opulence for a life of enlightenment is actually the story of the 28th Buddha. There were 27 Buddhas before him, and there is supposed to be one Buddha after him, foretold by Siddhartha to be named "Maithrieya".

A Buddha is one who rediscovers the Dharma, or truth, by enlightenment, which comes to be after skillful or good karma is perfectly maintained and all negative unskillful actions are abandoned. Its all a lot more complicated than this, but for our purposes, it will do just fine.

So as to your statue question, there are actually four common forms that a Buddha statue will take:

The Seated Buddha

taken in Golden Gate Park Japanese Tea Garden

The Reclining Buddha

The large fellow is in Laos

The Standing Buddha

located in Polonnarruwa, the city of ruins

And of course your Happy Buddha, formally called Hotei

located in Suzhou, China

Now, that you have your Buddha's for all occasions, I will explain why. The skinny Buddha's are going to be one of your first 28 Buddha's, most often you will see Siddhartha, as he is the Brad Pitt of Buddha's.

But the latter, fatter, happy Buddha is believed to be a medieval Chinese Monk, named Hotei, who was regarded as an incarnation of the bodhisattva soon to be Maithrieya. But this claim was only allegorical and therefore it is not an official Buddha statue. Though he had the potential, he just didn't apply himself. Instead, he has become a Taoist (pronounced with "d" instead of "t") deity of contentment and abundance. He also persists in Japanese folklore as one of the seven happy gods.

He is also called "Bu-dai" or "Mi Le Fo" and dubbed the "Loving", or "Friendly One".

Buddhism, like all major religions, is very complicated and has many intricate details specific to the region where it is practiced. I have tried to answer in general terms where possible, or in relation to "traditional" Buddhist doctrine. As one who has not spent much time at all learning about Buddhism, my answers to this may be inaccurate. Feel free to correct me as needed.

***Did you Know*** Though it is not a form of official Buddhist doctrine, it is popular folklore that rubbing Hotei's belly will bring forth fortune, prosperity and good luck. Which is probably where the practice of rubbing bald men's noggins for luck, came from.

Sheriff John Brown always hated me...

2005-09-30T12:57:00.000-07:00

Dear Tim,

Why did he shoot the sheriff but not the deputy?

~The Cross-Continent Comrades

Dear Comrades, (wow, sounds like I should follow that up with a manifesto)

I believe you are refering to the song "I Shot the Sheriff", by Bob Marley, and not the cover by Eric Clapton.

Well, as to why he shot the sheriff, that is made clear in the song, the sheriff hated him and promised to crush anything he tried to do. It was obviously something done in self-defense, but he never explains why he didn't shoot the deputy

The deputy was shot by someone, as the protagonist of the song was wrongly accused for it, but the song never clearly states why he didn't do it.

Perhaps, he had no personal beef with the deputy, only with the sheriff. And once John Brown was out of the way, things would be better once the deputy was promoted

Perhaps he had every intent on killing the deputy, but someone beat him to it.

There's a rumor that the deputy was in on it, and later killed by a family member of the Sheriff as retribution, but since small town CSI is never very good, they just assumed it was the same man who killed the sheriff.

All we really know is that both the sheriff and the deputy are dead, so if you are going to break some laws, now is definitely the time to do it!

***Did you know*** In a 2001 documentary The life of Bob Marley, an ex-girlfriend, Esther Anderson, claimed that the song was about birth control, and that she helped write it.

Just Like Cherry Cola...

2005-09-30T08:29:00.000-07:00

Someone once tried to tell me that "Lola" is a transvestite. Is that true? If so, I don't believe it.

- SuperJay

Dear SuperJay,

Believe it or not, the song Lola, by the Kinks, is about a transvestite. But this was a very good question as the lyrics posted all over the internet are different depending on where you look.

The controversy lies in the lyric:

"I know what I am, and that I'm a man, and so is Lola."

I've also seen:

"I know what I am, I'm glad I'm a man, and so it Lola."

Which would indicate that Lola is glad that the protagonist of the song is man, but doesn't really indicate Lola's sexuality.

and:

"I know what I am, in bed I'm a man, and so is Lola."

...which is "right out!"

But all of this is neither here, nor there, as there are many other lyrics that hint at Lola's sexuality all through out the song. You can check out the lyrics on the web by clicking this button, or performing your own search.

The song was inspired by the band's manager, who was dancing with what he thought was a woman one night at a Soho Club. Apparently as the night went on, "her" stuble started to show, but he was too drunk to notice.

***Did you know?*** Before the song was released, the BBC insisted that they change their lyrics, but not for what you would think. The original lyric was "where they served champagne that tastes just like coca cola". As this was free advertising for Coke, the BBC censored them.

Yeah, you're going to want to get that checked out!

2005-09-29T16:08:00.000-07:00

Do you know why it burns when I urinate?

-Uncomfortable in Utah

Dear Uncomfortable,

There could be many reasons for this uncomfortable burning you are feeling. The simplest answer would be a simple urinary tract infection. This is something you would want to have checked out by a doctor, preferably a urologist. While it may be a small burning now, it could escalate to something severe in the future. Remember Tom Hanks' character in Green Mile? Definitely something you don't want to go through.

My cat had a severe bladder infection that caused urethral scarring and ended up in having his penis removed, so you probably want to have it checked out.

The other possibility is that you have contracted an STD from someone and that is causing the burning. In either case, you definitely want to get checked out by a doctor and have the problem resolved before you have sex with anyone else, as either one can be passed on to others.

Bottom line, go see a doctor, I am, most assuredly, not one!

On a warm summer's evening...

2005-09-29T09:00:00.000-07:00

Tim,
In the song "The Gambler", by Kenny Rogers, does the gambler die at the end?

-Tormented in Texas

Dear Tormented,
This has been a long standing argument between one of my friends and I, and the short answer is, yes, yes he does!

I will state my case my by pointing out two lyrics in the song. The first being when the Gambler states:

"ev’ry hand’s a winner and ev’ry hand’s a loser,

And the best that you can hope for is to die in your sleep"

He is saying that its really hard to get ahead in life, and the best thing that can happen to you is a peaceful exit from this world.

Later in the song the singer (Kenny I guess) states that:

"[The Gambler] Crushed out his cigarette and faded off to sleep.

And somewhere in the darkness, the gambler, he broke even,

but in his final words I found an ace that I could keep."

"Broke even" is used here as an analogy for death due to what he said earlier about best thing you can hope for. Also, as the singer says "in his final words", and not "in his final words, to me" then it is assumed that they were in fact his final words and he has indeed slipped this mortal coil.

I know that some feel that this song is open to interpretation, but it seems to me to be a pretty open and shut case. Comments?

Free Trade for All!

2005-09-29T08:53:00.000-07:00

Tim,
I was watching the Daily Show last night and he mentioned something about the Swoot-Harley Tariff Act or something, what is that all about?

-Confounded in Cleveland

Dear Confounded,

The Smoot-Hawley Tariff Act of 1930 was designed to protect American farmers from the post World War I recovery of European farms and the agricultural overproduction that ensued. It set unreasonably high tariffs on imported goods, not only on agricultural items, but many other items as well. What was initially supposed to help the economy ended up worsening the Great Depression in the long run.

Which all goes back to my belief that free trade is best. While jobs may be lost in the short run, the economic gains in the long run far outweigh the short-term losses.

All the more reason you should've paid attention in your senior high school US Government class.

Killer Ta-Ta's From Outer Space!

2005-09-28T11:09:00.000-07:00

Hi, Tim!

I have a random question about movies for you, you being an odd movie buff yourself!

Have you ever heard of a horror movie where this woman goes around and smothers men with her gigantic ta-ta's? I have been trying to think of the name forever it seems and I just can't. I saw it while in London and now I want to surprise a friend with the movie (not that she is any stranger to gigantic ta-ta's herself...). Any help? :)

-Fifi LaFleur

Fifi,

That's not a lot of information to go on... hmm... I seem to remember a CSI episode where a large woman smothers a man to death while enjoying being on top, but I think she crushed his ribcage, the "ta-ta's" weren't really involved. So that's not it!

Actually, I believe you might be talking about Deadly Weapons. Starring Chesty Morgan (not making that up) and directed by Doris Wishman. Chesty's boyfriend is killed by the mob and she swears her revenge, using only the gifts God gave her!

I've never actually seen it though, so if you procur a copy, make sure you let me watch it!

Monkeys! Monkeys Everywhere!

2005-09-28T11:06:00.000-07:00

The first two questions were posted as comments on my main blog. I thought I would post them here to get the ball rolling!

Hearing you mention the Monkey Island game brought back fond memories of Guybrush Threepwood and the dreaded Pirate LeChuck. My little brother and I loved playing the Monkey Island series of games. Where were you able to purchase it? -Marika

Marika,

I am luckily the owner already of the Monkey Island series (It was actually the first computer game I ever owned, even before I had a computer). The newest episodes in the tragic, yet highly amusing, chronicles of dear old Mr. Threepwood (if you're nasty) are available on the LucasArts website.

For the older versions I would recommend checking out ebay, though sometimes a well stocked Half-price Books will be your friend, or possibly your local used game store (though I turned up nothing in my area). And of course I always recommend e-mailing LucasArts and telling them to stop making so many Star Wars games and get back to classic Monkey-ventures!

Good luck, and may all your problems be solved by a chicken with pulley!

Welcome and Good day!

2005-09-28T11:05:00.000-07:00

I have started this blog after a few people posted comments on my other blog asking me random questions because they were under the impression I might know the answer. In most cases I do, in others, I won't but can help point you in the right direction. Sometimes I just won't know anything at all.

All questions should be e-mailed to askingtim@gmail.com and I will post the questions and answers here as they come in.Anything goes, so feel free to put me to the test!

Frequently Asked Questions

2005-09-28T10:36:00.000-07:00

Will you sell, or otherwise post, my e-mail address for all the world to see and send me spam?

No, I highly value e-mail privacy and will not sell your e-mail address to others, send any type of message to your e-mail address, or post your e-mail for others to see. I am not doing this page to make money. I'm doing it to fill a void in my soul!

What kind of questions will you answer?

What kind of questions do you have?

Why would I want to ask you any questions?

Well, you wouldn't, but maybe others would, so lets give them a chance!

Do you have any qualifications, that make you qualified for this?

No, I'm just a regular guy whose brain sponges up the most random information you can find.

What if somebody reading your blog has a better answer to a question? Can they expand on your answer?

If I am unable to answer a questions completely, or if you feel, for some reason that my answer is somehow inadequate, feel free to post a comment with the "correct" answer. That's why comments are enabled after all!

Are the names you post the real names people give?

It depends. In most cases names are changed mostly for alliteration reasons, but also, I guess, to protect the innocent. In the cases where "askers" are other bloggers who provide their blog name, I will use that and hotlink it, so their blog can get some publicity!

What makes Tim's so gosh darned special?

That is one question I don't know the answer to, other than that we just are. Don't believe me? Ask another Tim.

Why should we believe your answers, what are you motives for this?

You should absolutely never believe anyone100% of the time without verifying the source. But I can promise you my motives here are boredom, and lack of job satisfaction. I will not "jerk your chain" and will give honest answers to the best of my ability.

Did you eat paint chips as a child?

You'd be surprised how often I'm asked that! But no, I did not. I'm just your average everyday dork.

Can we ask you questions about Star Wars?

Why, yes, you can! Realize, though, that my answers will most likely be limited to the original 3 movies, as anything that George Lucas produced after he went crazy in the mid 90's should not be compared to level of greatness acheived with Empire Strikes Back.
[publisher's note: George Lucas did not actually go crazy]

Can we ask you questions about The Lord of the Rings?

I will answer any questions you may ask.

Can we ask you questions about Star Trek?

Geez, what's with all the nerds, this is not a forum for debating all things nerdy! It is here as a public service... ...and no, I hate Star Trek!

What's that e-mail address again?

AskingTim@gmail.com

Do I have to capitalize it like that?

No, you don't!

Got a question? Get it answered!

2005-08-26T10:51:00.000-07:00

I realize that some may not want to e-mail me directly so I have created this post to allow you to post a comment to get your question answered.

Simply post your question as a comment and I will give you answer.

Thanks,

The Management!